So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
My dad just said "fuck circus"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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