I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize