Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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  (541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc
  Replies (12) Good night (429) Bad night (2705) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"

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  (414): You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!" http://tfl.nu/0oge
  Replies (16) Good night (7574) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

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  (616): whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name? http://tfl.nu/f6w0
  Replies (13) Good night (5058) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8

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  (719): Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8 http://tfl.nu/2x9k
  Replies (13) Good night (3391) Bad night (2543) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm

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  (347): A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm http://tfl.nu/q9qn
  Replies (13) Good night (3098) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.

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  (479): Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band. http://tfl.nu/kt6h
  Replies (3) Good night (2494) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...

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  (919): I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/oued
  Replies (10) Good night (4228) Bad night (858) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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  (603): Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight. http://tfl.nu/r24v
  Replies (16) Good night (1989) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?

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  (630): He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling? http://tfl.nu/57n3
  Replies (8) Good night (420) Bad night (1650) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I didn't know

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  (703): You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday... (410): I didn't know http://tfl.nu/kzg0
  Replies (1) Good night (1374) Bad night (344)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.

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  (503): In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase. http://tfl.nu/gdrn
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.

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  (250): You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you. http://tfl.nu/tyfl
  Replies (10) Good night (1129) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.

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  (402): We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake. http://tfl.nu/fynu
  Replies (8) Good night (509) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

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  (716): I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king. http://tfl.nu/29xr
  Replies (7) Good night (1183) Bad night (406)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.

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  (405): Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk. http://tfl.nu/bh9n
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (163)

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