Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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