finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
