she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize