Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
