I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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