boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize