I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and she was petting her beer can
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
