Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
