You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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