Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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