hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize