well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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