Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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