Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
