The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
