Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize