Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I would fuck him just for his dog
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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