I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
