I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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