the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
