ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we made out on top of his cat.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
