Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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