I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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