In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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