first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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