remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
