haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
