i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
