he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
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My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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