Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
