good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
