I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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