i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize