is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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