idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
