if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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