why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
