Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
