He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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