The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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