At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
