I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
