i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
