I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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