This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I could make wine with my vomit
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
