What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
