no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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