Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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