I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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