So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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