Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
