Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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