Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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