I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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