She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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