Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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