she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
