we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I am midnight drunk by noon
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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