What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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