I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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