Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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